It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

I have been answering these same questions about the new year for 20 years now. Ya, some of the questions sound like something a teen would ask... I considered looking for a new list, but my love of tradition and consistency won out and voila, this year's year in review:

1.     What did you do in 2017 that you'd never done before?

Perhaps a more fitting 2017 question would be what did you not do? 2017 included crazy amounts of exploration! New friends, new adventures, new cities to visit (Key West road trip!), new business opportunities, my first broken bone (ouch!).

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I did keep my new year’s resolution which was to practice mindfulness a trick for hacking my brain to rewire it towards more peace and light. This year I really want to ramp up my website, that’s a good resolution, and the year of yes and mindfulness will also continue.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Sarah had a beautiful baby girl, our babiest belle ;)

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Our dear friend and neighbor Dave died.  He was an integral part of why my town feels like a home, really the first time I’ve ever called the place I live home in many decades so that’s no small thing. 

Also my lovely dog Sissy died, after 16 years of companionship.  We still miss her every day, she was an amazing pet.

5. What countries did you visit?

I had 3 rather earth shattering trips to the states this year, 2017 started off right with an epic road trip with my bestie Leeleeboo to Key West for an underwater surprise proposal! (blog post still to follow, this is what I mean about needing to focus on my website) Along the way to this great shoot we had lots of little mini adventures including, meeting an acro yoga friend at the park, losing a windshield wiper in a mountain snow storm, not getting to meet the groundhog on groundhog day and staying at a beach front resort when our air bnb was scary and then lost power.

Next came what should have been a routine trip to my family in Keene Valley then turned out to be a meteor shower that changed every. Single. thing.

Finally came Pole Expo in Las Vegas, a week full of fun, networking, shooting amazing images, bonding, one fractured ankle and a flight delay that would never end. HA! And they want me to go back again this year!!! I am not sure if I am scared or excited about that possibility, hey by the way I learned this year that fear and excitement are the same chemical reaction in your body so it is easy to confuse the two.  Try to look at fear closely and see if it could really be excitement then be brave and embrace it!

6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017?

2017 lacked luck maybe, is the best way to say it.  I tried to plan more, to be prepared, to set intentions, to follow through but I was met with closed doors and a broken collarbone that quite literally forced me to sit still, stop, wait and heal only.  No more hustle, no more goals, just heal.  I am still trying to decipher these lessons from 2017 because as much as I had the universe give me some clear hard NO! not that path, I also got so many happy unexpected joys and gifts.  Looking at the surface I would say it was the worst year ever, but how can I say that when I am happy, and the majority of the year I was happy, and I was blessed.

7. What date from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

The Blanket Story.  Coming soon to a theatre near you ;)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Learning about the value of my inner feminine.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I’ve made some mistakes this year, of that we can be sure.  However, each of my failures have had a silver lining.  I have an incredible ability to remain zen in the face of conflict and turmoil.  I am a warrior and like a cat I always seem to land on my feet.  Not often gracefully, but at the very least comically, and sometimes that is the best you can ask for, the ability to laugh at yourself.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I am typically a person who rarely gets sick, and this year I had a broken collar bone as well as a fractured ankle and losing my mobility was incredibly difficult for me.  I am a very active person.  I have two full time jobs and two kids so I am used to being on the go constantly, to become immobile was excruciating.  It was not only painful, but harsh wake up call to me that my life was actually on fast forward and needed a complete mental and physical pause.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Our new puppy Truffle!

Also my ring toss game and my tiaras. Both brought me so much joy!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Darling Satii, my best friend.  Thank you for proving your faith in me every day in every single way.  Thank you for taking about 100 calls of me in tears, for telling me to man up, for giving me a safe place to land when I could not, thank you for putting my kids first and being an excellent role model to them. Thank you for all the laughs, my sunshine. Thank you for setting the bar so high.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

There seem to be so many candidates for this award this year, it seemed every day there was a news article uncovering more hatred, evil, corruption, and hurt then the day before.  I think it was actually so overwhelming and then hopefully the first step towards healing that humanity needs this year, to let the light and the air onto the festering wounds we are creating.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Travel, and there is no better place to spend it.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

2017 was a great year for me and art, I predicted it last year and my art was a constant source of excitement for sure. Other than that though I have been more cautiously optimistic this year vs. excited.

16. What song will always remind you of 2017?

Angel by the Wings - Sia

Old soul, your wounds they show
I know you have never felt so alone
But hold on, head up, be strong
Oh hold on, hold on until you hear them come
Here they come, oh

Take an angel by the wings
Beg her now for anything
Beg her now for one more day
Take an angel by the wings
Time to tell her everything
Ask her for the strength to stay

You can, you can do anything, anything

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? Happier, I think…. This is so tough to say so here I leave you with this meme:

ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner, and rebuilding my strength

iii. richer or poorer? This concept is now off to me…. monetarily richer, perhaps, spiritually richer, certainly, and blessed beyond measure.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

I would like to be dancing more.  Injuries lead me to be away from my Belles for months and that hurt me even more then the broken bone did.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

I regret nothing! :P

20. How did you spend Christmas?

I had my usual Christmas in addition to my very first vegan Christmas and it was full of love, great food and so many laughs.  Saved my holidays, so much love to Anna and family for including me xox.

21. Did you fall in love in 2017?

I fell hard and fast like a shooting star falls burning to the earth.

24. What was your favorite TV program?

My guilty pleasure this year was watching 90 day finance.  I also enjoyed the new season of Peaky Blinders, Outlander and the Handmaids Tale.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

No, hate is so worthless. And karma came to my rescue, so have some faith in that.

26. What was the best book you read?

Lee and I listened to the 50 shades trilogy on our road trip, does that count?  Haha it was the only book I “read” but I wouldn’t say it’s the best one, although made for a fun girls trip soundtrack!

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Jessie Reyez was my new discovery this year, I love her imperfect voice and cutting lyrics.

28. What did you want and get?

I hope he loves you like this ~ Poem by Annabelle Blythe

I hope he holds your hand proudly as you walk through a room of people you don’t know.

I hope he builds you up until you are standing on a pedestal of your own creation.

I hope he encourages you to make art, take risks, travel the world, be alone – always knowing that you’ll be back home in his warm embrace as long as his heart is open.

I hope he wears his heart on his sleeve and is not shy to adorn yours as well.

I hope he is the kind of person who, when presented with the ocean, will not shy away from diving in to ride the waves.

I hope he is all of himself unafraid to own his stories no matter how dark they may seem.

I hope that he can see that all of you is in the stars poking through the dark sky of your past.

I hope he is not scared by your ability to choose growth.  Your ability to not be held hostage by the person you were yesterday, last week, last year.

I hope his attention span is as long as every word that exists in your mouth, your heart.  I hope that he hears your truth and meets it with gratitude for your vulnerability.

I hope he loves you in a way you didn’t know love existed. For you have only seen love in other places with shaky ground that fell beneath your hopeful feet.

This is who I hope for you – Because you are worthy of being loved by a heart so bright the sun blushes in admiration.

Check, check and double check! Got it <3

29. What did you want and not get?

I wanted so many things that I did not get, everything is still working out though so….. this thing called life is just a mystery I guess.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

La La Land, I love musicals and this one was exceptionally well done.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 28 and I celebrated birthday month with a glitter fox costume, Tori Amos concert, trip to a Castle with my love, dinner with all my nieces and nephews and eating as many free things possible because it’s my birthday.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably satisfying?

This is a really tough one.  “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times” has never rung truer.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us.

But how can I fault a year just because it brought me tough love, because it also brought me sweet love, so that makes this year still immeasurably satisfying.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017?

I am still proudly rocking the spanks pants and onsies! And now I also have quite the collection of pole shorts (who needs pants!?!). This is still true

34. What kept you sane?

Inner strength and resolve.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I am very into John Wineland, I have listened to most of his lectures and find him to be innovative, creative, wise and refreshingly honest.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

#metoo

37. Who did you miss?

I missed my dad a lot this year.  It’s true the death of a parent never truly leaves you.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

Jake <3

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017:

There is value in femininity.  A modern woman is strong, independent, capable and fearless, all amazing traits.  But the very strongest woman is also vulnerable, open, compassionate, and emotional.  She understands when to change the world with a wrecking ball of wrath or with open loving arms and forgiveness.  When the nurturing mother in us can co-exist with our warrior shield maiden then we have unstoppable power to impact our universe.

Happy New Year!!!